The value of silence – New year’s eve
They feel the need to poke it –
To advise or to wish you well –
What you left in the shadow behind –
What you have been trying to avoid to think about or wasn’t even thinking of –
The purulent scars of painful memories –
The creeping doubts –
The uncertain future and yet unanswered wishes –
When they could smile and hug and stay silent, and
let you enjoy the moment.
highway or metro
under the layers
with all our things
My job my hobbies
with barely known pals
and his arms
The unexpected questions
the announcement cards
raw flesh and bones
Crumbling ruin I cry
The push of an angel on a wretched day
The blade of a friend through one’s heart
Always waiting to spring
While I turn and toss
Right and left, then on my back,
Like a whale move –
Bones clicking, fingers swollen –
Cry in fear and in hope,
Drink my water, eat, and pee –
Filling a sea, I could be! –
He bings and bangs and hiccups,
Gives a small shake or makes a powerful wave,
Reacting to my hands (to our hands),
He rolls – is it a foot or a knee?
Is he listening?
Is he crying – laughing – hugging?
Is he coming?!
Warm and fed – I think –
He is mine – almost solely mine –
For a few more weeks,
For a few weeks only,
My baby, in my belly.